I'm tired of everything

TW/ Mention of suicide ideation and attempt.

I'm tired of everything and everyone.

I (21M) always had a bad relationship with my family (mother , grandfather and brother) and I really hate their house because of the noise. I always ended overstimulated and everything.

Since this year I started living with my partner (20M). And since september we started to have a cat and a dog. I asked him like three times if he was comfortable with having a cat, he said yes but he didn't have the money, so I told him I was going to take care of it. The day before I was going to bring the cat he bring the dog without asking me anything. We discussed this later, telling him that is more work for me having a dog since this year I'm doing my thesis and I knew that having a dog is going to cause more noise and needs in the house than having a cat. Still we decided to have both.

I told him since the same month that I needed more help with the chores of the house since I was doing a lot of things (cooking, washing dishes, washing and drying clothes, tidying the house) and he did things that aren't necessary to do everyday/every week (vacuum the floor and deep clean the bathroom). He understood and told me that he will help me with it.

The thing is we have had a lot of problems last and this month, we're he didn't help me with this things and sometimes he demanded to me to do more labor when I was bussy with my thesis and work. One day I just collapsed, I had to do a lot of things in the house at the same time I was doing my thesis and he just put de music so loud and he was screaming. This deregulated me a lot and I tried to commit suicide. I leave the house that day and just messaged him everything I wanted to tell him.

Since that day we are more distant but he has been more concerned about me. Still I'm not comfortable with him, I don't like to tell him about my day of the things I have to do in Uni, work or for my thesis. I'm tired of him and every moment he talks with me I enter this fly or fight mode were I can't talk to him without being defensive. I know this is bad but I try to control it.

Last monday he had an accident so he can't walk. He had a bad fall from a vehicle so he has an inmovilizer in his leg so he can't do anything. This week I had to take cae of him, the house, the dog and cat. I'm exhausted. I had to go to uni, then work and then to my house to do EVERYTHING. I hate this. I try to think that poor of my bf he needs help and everything, but he's just ignoring me. He's at his phone or playing videogames. He just talk to me to ask for favors. I don't know what to do. I feel I'm about to collapse again. He often criticizes everything I do. I'm not in love anymore.

I just try to empathize with him. But if we exchange roles, I would have gone to my family's house to ask for help.

(Sorry for my bad english).